I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
