so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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