Welp...herpes.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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