Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
