Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
