Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
