when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If that was your dad, he is hot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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