idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
