I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
