OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
operation harelip BJ is a go
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
