My room smells like vodka and shame
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
