I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
