my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
