i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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