dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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