I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
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I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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