And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
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Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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