I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
