I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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