Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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