hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
