You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can't put those talents on a resume
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
