when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
