I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
