I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
