She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
