Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
