She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
