just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
