Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
