I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
