Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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