respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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