I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
