how can u be prego again
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
