we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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