Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
high people should be assigned attendants
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Even my vagina gasped.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
