i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
