I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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