I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
