i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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