PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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