walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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