break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
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I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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