The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
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If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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