Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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