Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
