Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
