Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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