We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
