I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
