saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
