He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
false alarm. still invincible.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
