You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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