So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
